On September 6, 2013, our applications for my husband to return to the United States were accepted by USCIS. Since then it really has been a roller coaster ride. The first few weeks were filled with nothing but relief. Honestly, what do you expect when you have waited for over 6 years and 8 months to finally be in the running. Some days are easier than others, some days I just want to cry, and some days I just want to yell. I so want to believe the worst is over and we will have an approval pop up any day now. It really hit home today when there was a Sept 11, 2013 application approved. I am on the precipice of change in my life, the question is will that change be in the form of an approval or denial. I want to believe that the approval is coming and we will be home by the end of summer. Yet, I really don’t want to get my hopes up. I left the USA on Dec 30, 2006 believing it would be less than a year before my husband could come home with us. I was baffled and felt so betrayed when I realized the laws would not permit it for 5 years for missing an asylum hearing.
While we waited in immigration limbo life has happened. Good times, bad times, awful times. Of course, that is life, right? I have faced so much adversity in my life, I begin to wonder, when will I get a break. I am not trying to whine, but my life has been eventful to say the least. We added two children to our family since this all started. Our oldest sons were 3 1/2 and 5 months when we first came here. They just started 6th and 3rd grades respectively this month. Our daughter started first and our youngest son is about to be 3 on Monday. I honestly don’t know how I made it this far. There were times we were starving, times I wanted to throw in the towel and just leave with the kids. Not for lack of love between my husband and I, but because sometimes I have just had enough. Of course, then I realize, I will not let immigration win. All the while cursing under my breath about it sucking so damn badly.
My life has been one hell of a storm thus far, but I will never stop fighting against the tide. I won’t give up or in, I will keep going and live my life as it’s given.
“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore