How is it that one moment it is the beginning of a month and seemingly the next moment it is 4 months later. So much has happened it is almost a blur of all those days melted into one. You get into such a routine that those days really do seem to merge. Get up, get the kids to school, clean, work, cook dinner, help kids with homework, put kids in bed. Wash, rinse, repeat. Not that I am complaining about my life, I love my children, all of them. I have to admit that I do ache constantly in my heart though. When I left the States I really believed we would be done with immigration in a matter of months. It was late 2006, I could not find info on the internet, nor before when I looked, which is why I talked to lawyers who gave me incorrect information (which is a bigger problem then people would probably like to admit). Before online support groups and finding people that understood what my family was going through I would probably have lost my mind to hateful people who think that our families should be punished for the rest of our lives for non-violent or civil infractions or for entering the country too many times, staying in the states too long, checking the wrong box, or having the wrong tattoo. You are constantly judged in this process not only by Govt Entities, and of course, so called friends and family. I know all the arguments I am just asking why does the punishments have to be so severe, why should an entire decade or life go by for our families? Is everyone really that apathetic? Or are the assholes and our families the only ones that speak up? I can’t even afford to finish the process, so much money and time and even if I get the appointment it will take us years to pay an attorney and the final visa fees. I also have to get plenty of documentation to prove why I have to have my husband live with me in the States. I have to prove that I will suffer an unusually extreme hardship for my husband to be granted his “green card”. I have to have proof to back up my claims, btw. Also, even though we had to wait 5 years over a missed immigration hearing before he was eligible it will still take 6 months and about $12k before they would make a decision, tell me how am I supposed to do that on my $5/hr job, especially now that my husband lost his job and we have two kids in private school and a family of 6 to feed? Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, I am eternally grateful to my boss for giving me the opportunity he has. I just wish it were easier. My older daughters, still in the States will be 12 and 13 this year, my mom at age 54 has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and the reality is, I may not see them again. The guilt I feel for not being there while my daughters were growing up is awful, how do you explain this to your kids? If I had the money I would go home for a visit now, but I don’t. Life is hard for everyone, I get that. I just ask that you dig a little deeper before you judge. Display a real human trait, empathy for every man.